I became a mom in 2014 (after many attempts). It was very surreal and life-changing as well. Everything I did then was centered around this 7lbs infant (with the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen).
I found out that, I will from henceforth plan everything I did around “this person” — the time I will eat, sleep and even use the washroom! But it will be so worth it!
As my bundle of joy transitioned from being an infant to a toddler, I had created a workable routine. She on the other hand, discovered independence. I could eat, sleep and do my business whenever I wanted! I was so elated! I was free — Partially though.
Now, what to do with myself? My little one didn’t need me as much, and now I didn’t know what to do with myself! Hmmm…. Do I watch a TV show, go take a much-needed bath, do the laundry, read a book, the list goes on and on
and on… I did all these things and I would still feel like I should be doing something else or was wasting time on frivolities.
My husband couldn’t understand what I was feeling. He would say to me (with a confused look on his face)
“I thought when she was much younger, you said you needed a break!
now she has eased off on you and you feel unfilled?”
YES! That is it, I FELT UNFILLED. If you are not a new mom, you understand very clearly what I am talking about. If you are a new mom, you will soon get there. Don’t get me wrong, I love my baby. She has filled a place in my heart that I didn’t even know existed. However, I still had a vacuum that needed to be filled.
The question then is,” How can I fill this emptiness?”
I believe I need to find myself! Find my passion! Find the reason for my creation! I am not only a mom, a wife and all the other roles I fill, I am much more, I am a MOMLEADER!