You’ve read this and either you answered confidently, or you found yourself like a lot of the other moms I have come across, that can’t tenderly, answer that question.
When I am in my beginning coaching sessions with a mom, I will often ask them to describe who they are. A certain mom will answer with a job they used to do, enlighten me on all their hobbies they used to have fun with, what goals they pursued before children, but at the end of the day, none of that is actually who they are now. They struggle to tell me who they are as an individual now being a mom.
Now if you actually stop and ponder, can you answer that question. Not who you were, not where do you want to be, but truly, who are you know?
So much of our identity can be tied to our career, our freedom, our social lives and when motherhood comes, we aren’t quite sure what happened to all of that or where to get it back. Will we ever get “it”back?
Have you lost yourself, mama?
Moms lose themselves. We do. We lose our identity in our children. Sometimes it takes moms a year or two to rediscover themselves and others go for years hiding in baggy clothes, focusing on the best products for the family, putting everyone else’s needs first, before they realize they are in an identity crisis and they’ve lost themselves along the way.
Some moms feel that after having children they are supposed to be the most fulfilled they have ever been and unfortunately, that is just not the case. Understandably, there are some challenges we uniquely face and we have to learn to switch from our single self, our married no kids self, to a woman with children. You are not just a mom. You are your own unique person with her own desires, passions, and likes. Yes, you have them. Believe me.
“I don’t have time”. Well, we can get into “you management”later. Let’s save time saving for another post or better yet, let’s have a chat on the phone. Otherwise…
I encourage you to KNOW YOUR MOM-IDENTITY.
Remember to listen to yourself. This is actually a training that moms will have to start doing again as they put their needs aside and forget completely about themselves. I have seen moms say I will cook that because my son likes this, I will buy that because my husband likes this, but they fail time and time again to consider themselves and actually think and listen to themselves. Start paying attention to what you really want and not just what is expected of you. Do you hear that?
You are not your old self. You are not a future version of what you want to be. You are who you are at this moment. You have the power to change, to have more time, to set goals, and to have likes. Take the opportunity to take yourself on a date and rediscover your mom identity.
Have fun finding out who you are and let me know your process along the way.
Happy Monday to all moms, I hope you all had a fantastic Mother’s Day!
Mothers are simply amazing. Being a part of someone else’s life at whatever age is such a great privilege and also a great responsibility!
This responsibility requires a lot of bold steps to be taken on a daily basis. At every moment in our lives as moms, we make decisions that would not only affect us but also the family.
As you know by now, one of our Core Values at Momleader is “Be a Leader“.
Leadership requires wholeness.
A mom needs to be whole to be able to be an influencer.
Wholeness is not perfection, part of wholeness is the ability of a mom to take those required bold steps when making decisions like – what to feed her family, establishing her family’ values and also in the pursuit of her personal goals and dreams.
Moms would be able to achieve this if they are well informedwhen making these decisions.
This information is what we aim to provide at Momleader.
Being a Courageous Mom is all about following your mom-instincts, making “Informed decisions” plus following through with it.
Share your secret recipe for being a “Courageous Mom?”
Tradition has played a very important role in how moms run their homes. The media doesn’t really help to be honest. Perfect pictures on social media put moms under pressure to be “perfect moms”.
There is a major comparison and perception when it comes to what being a ‘great mom’ is. There’s the theory of attachment vs Independence, working mom vs stay at home moms; breastfeeding moms vs bottle fed moms and what to feed your toddler and what not. The question is not “what is right” vs “what is wrong”.
The question is “what is best for your family at this moment?” At momleader, we believe that a mom understands her needs and her family’ needs and she is flexible without judgement or overwhelming mom-guilt.
Happy Monday to all our moms! We are so excited to introduce to you our Momleader Mondays – a series of videos that discuss our core values and the heart of who we are.
Over the coming weeks, we will be rolling out what drives us and what matters to us most at Momleader. Not only are we hoping to give you insight into who we are and what we believe in, but we also have some major changes brewing. Here at MomLeader, we have been working tirelessly to bring you the very best resources and platform to ensure your success at home, work, business and daily life.
So, Join us! See you next Monday as we discuss our very first core value, embark on some new changes with you, and share in our identity.
She usually doesn’t maintain eye contact and answer shyly, “I stay at home with the kids”
Or she gives a very nervous laugh and say, “The kids are my job”.
I have been a Stay at Home mom myself and I have done the same no doubt (too many times than I count).
Even now as a work from home mom, if asked, “What do I do?” I am so quick to talk about the work I do from home – I’m a Mom-coach as opposed to claiming my place as a Stay At home mom who also runs MomLeader.
My question has always been, “Why do I feel like the work of a Stay At Home Mom cannot be considered as a job?”
I know that I cannot put a price on motherhood but then I cannot ignore all the work that goes into staying at home with the children. From cooking to cleaning to school runs to mitigating fights to diffusing temper tantrums – you name it!
You are so busy throughout the day yet at the end of the day it looks like you haven’t done much!
Truth be told, not every woman can survive being a Stay At Home Mom. Did you know that according to mother.ly and salary.com, the salary of a Stay At Home Mom for 2018 was estimated to be $162,581 per year. This was over $5000 increase from what it was in 2017!
Acoording to Salary.com, Jobs that reflected a day in the life of a Mom was used to achieve this estimated salary.
Example of the hybrid roles were (I picked out just a handful that jumped at me) :
Day Care Centre Teacher
I can see why? I’m sure you can see why too!
These roles were put into consideration when I was developing my Coaching program: MomLeader Incubator – a program for moms who want to start their dream business. I know quite well that Moms wear multiple hats.
My advice is that the next time you are asked, “What do you do?”
Don’t just say that “I’m just a Stay At Home Mom” – No you are not “JUST!”
Being a Stat At home Mom is a respectable role; an high paying role at that!!!!
You either respond with pride that: “You are a Stay At Home Mom” or better still, you can give whoever is asking the question a run down of the hybrid roles above 🙂
If you are curious, you can calculate your estimated salary as a Stay At Home Mom here. Just plug in your details to see what your salary would have been.
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