You’re a mom, but, WHO ARE YOU?
You’ve read this and either you answered confidently, or you found yourself like a lot of the other moms I have come across, that can’t tenderly, answer that question.
When I am in my beginning coaching sessions with a mom, I will often ask them to describe who they are. A certain mom will answer with a job they used to do, enlighten me on all their hobbies they used to have fun with, what goals they pursued before children, but at the end of the day, none of that is actually who they are now. They struggle to tell me who they are as an individual now being a mom.
Now if you actually stop and ponder, can you answer that question. Not who you were, not where do you want to be, but truly, who are you know?
So much of our identity can be tied to our career, our freedom, our social lives and when motherhood comes, we aren’t quite sure what happened to all of that or where to get it back. Will we ever get “it”back?
Have you lost yourself, mama?
Moms lose themselves. We do. We lose our identity in our children. Sometimes it takes moms a year or two to rediscover themselves and others go for years hiding in baggy clothes, focusing on the best products for the family, putting everyone else’s needs first, before they realize they are in an identity crisis and they’ve lost themselves along the way.
Some moms feel that after having children they are supposed to be the most fulfilled they have ever been and unfortunately, that is just not the case. Understandably, there are some challenges we uniquely face and we have to learn to switch from our single self, our married no kids self, to a woman with children. You are not just a mom. You are your own unique person with her own desires, passions, and likes. Yes, you have them. Believe me.
“I don’t have time”. Well, we can get into “you management”later. Let’s save time saving for another post or better yet, let’s have a chat on the phone. Otherwise…
I encourage you to KNOW YOUR MOM-IDENTITY.
Remember to listen to yourself. This is actually a training that moms will have to start doing again as they put their needs aside and forget completely about themselves. I have seen moms say I will cook that because my son likes this, I will buy that because my husband likes this, but they fail time and time again to consider themselves and actually think and listen to themselves. Start paying attention to what you really want and not just what is expected of you. Do you hear that?
You are not your old self. You are not a future version of what you want to be. You are who you are at this moment. You have the power to change, to have more time, to set goals, and to have likes. Take the opportunity to take yourself on a date and rediscover your mom identity.
Have fun finding out who you are and let me know your process along the way.