Posts Tagged ‘children’

Who am I now? Struggling with your mom identity.

Monday, June 3rd, 2019

You’re a mom, but, WHO ARE YOU?

You’ve read this and either you answered confidently, or you found yourself like a lot of the other moms I have come across, that can’t tenderly, answer that question.

When I am in my beginning coaching sessions with a mom, I will often ask them to describe who they are. A certain mom will answer with a job they used to do, enlighten me on all their hobbies they used to have fun with, what goals they pursued before children, but at the end of the day, none of that is actually who they are now. They struggle to tell me who they are as an individual now being a mom.

Now if you actually stop and ponder, can you answer that question. Not who you were, not where do you want to be, but truly, who are you know?

So much of our identity can be tied to our career, our freedom, our social lives and when motherhood comes, we aren’t quite sure what happened to all of that or where to get it back. Will we ever get “it”back?

Have you lost yourself, mama?

Moms lose themselves. We do. We lose our identity in our children. Sometimes it takes moms a year or two to rediscover themselves and others go for years hiding in baggy clothes, focusing on the best products for the family, putting everyone else’s needs first, before they realize they are in an identity crisis and they’ve lost themselves along the way.

Some moms feel that after having children they are supposed to be the most fulfilled they have ever been and unfortunately, that is just not the case. Understandably, there are some challenges we uniquely face and we have to learn to switch from our single self, our married no kids self, to a woman with children. You are not just a mom. You are your own unique person with her own desires, passions, and likes. Yes, you have them. Believe me.

“I don’t have time”. Well, we can get into “you management”later. Let’s save time saving for another post or better yet, let’s have a chat on the phone. Otherwise…

I encourage you to KNOW YOUR MOM-IDENTITY.

Remember to listen to yourself. This is actually a training that moms will have to start doing again as they put their needs aside and forget completely about themselves. I have seen moms say I will cook that because my son likes this, I will buy that because my husband likes this, but they fail time and time again to consider themselves and actually think and listen to themselves. Start paying attention to what you really want and not just what is expected of you. Do you hear that?

You are not your old self. You are not a future version of what you want to be. You are who you are at this moment. You have the power to change, to have more time, to set goals, and to have likes. Take the opportunity to take yourself on a date and rediscover your mom identity.

Have fun finding out who you are and let me know your process along the way.

Nike

Fellow Momleader

Build Relationships – Momleader Mondays

Monday, May 6th, 2019

BUILD RELATIONSHIPS

We all know that children are not born with a manual – We all became moms the moment we were given our new born with no prior training. No matter how prepared we were to be a mom – when the real motherhood kicked in; we found out that we were not prepared! We believe that moms can learn a lot from others.

Having access to other moms (who are either at the same stage they are in or ahead of them); that is having access to moms who are willing to share their experiences, victories and failures with other moms helps greatly on the motherhood journey.

Moms should have access to an exciting and fun learning ground where lifelong relationships are built and nurtured.

Wondering why having mom-friends makes all the difference, here are three of the many reasons it is great to have mom friends:
1. Your own Cheering Squad – they have been there or are currently there so they get it
2. Your Advisors – Still based on experience, they are great for giving their “two cents” which might be exactly what you need
3. Your Personal Reminder – they will remind you that you are a great mom for those hard days. They will also remind you of what you are capable of!
Get a mom tribe or network whether online or off line.

Watch the Video here >>>

Watch the previous Core Values here<<<

International Women’ Day – Salute to all moms!

Friday, March 8th, 2019

SALUTE TO MOMS

“I need you to stop doing that right now, am I clear?!?”


That was me shouting out those words to my high-spirited-four-year-old daughter. In that moment, I realised that I sounded like my mom – Ooops!

 

Today is March 8th, 2019 – International Women’ Day. If you ask me who do I want to celebrate today – “MY MOM!”

 

WHY?!?!

 

Pretty simple, I love her of-course!

Funny is as a little girl, I had an endless list of things she could do differently and how she should have done it.

From wondering why she wouldn’t want me to indulge in certain things to wondering why I can’t watch TV after a certain time or eat what I wanted and when… My list was endless!

 

One minute, she was the best mom in the world, the next she wasn’t!

 

Being a mom myself (of two beautiful girls). I have come to realize that most of the things my mom did was because she was a mom!

When I was much younger, my mom was working full time, running her own business and raising 5 High spirited children:

 

Wow, what an amazing woman!

 

When I had my baby, I was over the moon. The moment I left the hospital with my bundle of joy – the first question I asked was:

 

“How did my mom do this?!?”

 

So today, this International Women’ Day – My respect goes out to my mom – and in fact all women out there.

Being a mom made me realize that women are more poweful than we want to think or even accept!

We have the power to do amazing things!

Much respect to all WOMEN!!!

For all moms out there – don’t forget to take some time for yourself – check my blogpost here >>>>on self care!

You are doing a great job! here are also some ideas on how you can show love to your children here >>>

 

I know you are not appreciated (as such!) – but Happy International Women’ Day

 

Much respect, SALUTE!!!

 

Nike Famojuro

 

How To Improve Your Focus As A Mom-preneur

Friday, March 1st, 2019

FOCUS! FOCUS!! FOCUS!!!

“I can remember the lyrics to songs from 1992,

I can remember all the things my husband did wrong;

but I can’t remember where I put my keys!”

– Unknown

Being a Mom-Prenuer – Mom of two lil ones and Enterprenuer that works from home (literally anywhere in the home: from the kitchen to the bathroom!lol). I am usually asked this:

“Nike, How do you stay focussed?”

 

Today, I share 7 of my secrests to staying foccussed as an enterprenur-mom:

1. Prioritze your life:

We all have an endless to-do list! We know how overwhelming it can be when we are distracted or taken away from our current task. The distraction may be from well-meaning friends, our children or family members. To improve my focus, I have embraced the power of “NO” or “NOT RIGHT NOW”.

 

2. Nourish your concentration:

Coffee is great but too much coffee can be counter-productive – I’ve mentioned this is my previous post on Mom-exercise. I noticed that being a Mom-prenuer sometimes has an adverse effect on my food choices. Eating Vegetables, fruits (especially blueberries) and using Supplements (Such as Omega-3) helps boost focus.

 

3. Create Time blocks:

I love this concept of “Time blocks” – I teach this to moms in my Take Charge coaching program. This is a concept that allows me to group tasks into “Time – blocks”. It allows me to concentrate on that particular task and most importantly, because I have a rough idea of how long it will take to carry out the task within a particular Time – block, I can easily schedule when it will work or if my circumstance will allow each “Time-block”.

 

4. Don’t give in to overwhelm:

Overwhelm is the killer of focus. I ensure that I rid myself of things, circumstances that would make me feel overwhelmed. Having a To -Do list helps greatly because not only does it make me stay focussed, it also allows me to do a brain dump and I can clearly see what needs to be done!

 

5. Self care:

Take a Break. Schedule this! I can’t over stress this. Check out my post on Self Care Ideas for Ideas. When I see that I am loosing focus, I detach myself to care for myself.

 

6. Tackle the biggest task first:

I find that when I have a big task on my to do, it affects why concentration. I am constantly thinking about that big task and I dot focus on the task Im currently carrying out. To overcome this, I try as much as possible to deal with all my big tasks first. That way, I feel accomplished throughout the day and I also banish that “dreadful” feeling of a Pending big task!

7. Have a morning routine:

This is actually one of the most important point. The way I start my day sets the tone for my day. The things I do in the morning are: Pray, Meditate, Stretch/Exercise and then start my day. My mantra is this: “Don’t let your emails rule your life”

I love learning, please let me know if you have any other suggestions.

I’ll see you around

Nike

 

10 Simple Romantic Valentine Ideas for Moms

Friday, February 15th, 2019

Valentine Ideas for Moms for the Valentine’ Weekend.

“Everyone says that you fall in love once that is not TRUE

because every time when I see you,

I fall in love with you all over again”

– Unknown

 

Valentine is here!

Love is in the air!

 

 

Valentine is always a time when the sale of roses, chocolates and cards are at their peak. I find that most Valentines, people lack Valentine ideas for moms; so moms are given gifts they don’t really like. Gifts like: Fake flowers, gym membership, sugar free candy, self help books or ill fitting lingeries or night dress.

 

Here are a list of 10 Simple Romantic Valentine ideas for Moms, especially new moms or moms with little ones.

Moms, get inspired with this list and pass it one to your Valentine!

 

1. Sleep in:

Weekends can be a chore; instead of being up and running around to get everyone ready; how about taking time off. You can also go into work later in the day to have some time to sleep-in on Valentine’s Weekend.

 

2. Make Breakfast together:

Making breakfast with your Valentine is a great way to spend Valentine. Especially if it is just you two 😉

 

3. Take Bubble Bath:

Interesting how most  moms take a bath because they think they deserve it. Having a bath doesn’t have to be a treat! It can be something you do everyday. If you still feel it is a treat, here’s a Valentine Idea for moms -“Valentine’s Weekend Bubble Bath”. Treat yourself to some nice scents, candles, fresh flowers, great music – all the works.

 

4. Watch a Romantic Movie together:

There’s nothing as romantic as watching a romantic goofy valentine movie with your Valentine. I mean uninterrupted. If you have to get someone to watch the kids, take the time off. You can either watch the movie in your living room or go out to the movies.

 

5. Dress up and go somewhere nice:

Dressing up brings up a great feeling. It is a good time to wear that “One-day-I-will-wear-you” dress. Dress up and go somewhere really nice. Visit those “one-day-I-will-visit” restaurant.

 

6. Listen to some love music together:

Put on some candles, set in the mood (sit by the fire place) and listen to some Love music together. Oldies does it for me – it brings up some really great memories.

 

7. Massage:
Either do a DIY – you can buy the oils from a local store near you, have some candles, good music and voila! Or you can treat your partner to a massage, pedicure or manicure appointment

 

8. Stay up Late:

Nothing beats staying up late…no more to be said here!

 

9. Create a List of “why you love your partner”:

You can either send a romantic text messages to your partner or you can write it out in a card. As long as those words are from your heart.

 

10. A night off from Bedtime Routine:

The chore of Bedtime routine can be exhausting. You either have the kids do a sleep-over or you get the nanny to put them to sleep or you get your partner to do it. Skipping this routine is such a great Valentine treat for  moms.

 

Dont forget to love yourself – Check this post on Self Care: 

Watch my YouTube Video on Self-care here: www.youtu.be/bhqhZdgYw3M

 

Happy Valentines to all Moms out there!

 

Chao!

 

I’ll See you around

 

Nike Famojuro

Fellow MomLeader

@iamamomleader

Seven Practical Ways You Can Show Love To Your Children

Friday, February 1st, 2019

SEVEN PRACTICAL WAYS YOU CAN SHOW LOVE TO YOUR CHILDREN

I get this most times from Moms in my MomLeader Coaching Programs.
I often ask this question: “Do you show love to your children, that is; 
You love your children but do they know that?”

Tweet this

Pretty ironic right?!?

Here are Seven (7)n Practical Ways You Can Show Love To Your Child.

PS: It is NEVER to late or too early to start.

1. TELL THEM YOU LOVE THEM:
This seems like a no-brainer right!?

Life can get busy that all we communicate to our children is what they are not doing right or their schedules, what is expected of them etc.

We forget at times to tell them what they need to hear (even though the child will not admit it! lol).

They need to hear it from you that you love them…PERIOD!…Say it!

 

2. PRAISE THEM:

This is kind of tied in with you telling your child you love them, that is, how you show love to your children.

Praising them is something you have to do consciously especially when you are going through difficult times with your child. Because of moms “nurturer” nature, we often only see EVERYTHING that needs to be fixed and we NEGLECT the things that are going on well. Find the good in your child and praise them for it

 

3. LISTEN TO YOUR CHILD;

9 out of 10, the biggest issue we had with our parents was that they didn’t listen to us…so Mommas, why aren’t  we listening to our children?

Always adopt this Steve Covey Effective Listening style which is:

“Seek first to Understand, then to be Understood”.

That is, concentrate on what is being said; rather concentrating on your response.

 

4. BE PRESENT:

Doing more than one task at once seems great because it allows us to get so many things done in a limited amount of time.

The disadvantage is that we tend not to be present while carrying a task.

When spending time with your child, be present.

All you need to do is create a time block for your child, with no interruption and with you being fully present.

This is definitely important if you want to show love to your children.

 

5. LAX THE RULES ONCE IN A WHILE:
It is awesome to have a schedule with the children especially when dealing with younger children.

But every now and then, it is okay to lax the rules.

How about if they stay up  late on a Friday night and watch a goofy movie with you or eat their breakfast in bed on Saturday morning…whatever you know they would like, lax the rules and watch their faces light up…Priceless!

 

6. SURPRISE THEM:

Everyone loves a good surprise – not just on Birthdays!

But remember, it is about them and not about you; so bear that in mind when choosing either what to give them or  what activity to do.

Do your research and NAIL it!

 

7. CREATE FAMILY TIME:

This concept is super important because it creates and nurtures closeness between family especially siblings. It is just like how companies have Team building programs with their staff members to encourage Team Dynamics.

By taking time off and being diligent with Family Time will not only create great Team Dynamics with your children, it is also a way you can show your family that you love them!

 

There you have it, 7 Practical Ways You Can Show Love to Your Child…if you want more, you can download the 37 Practical Ways You Can Show Love To Your Child here >> >

Remember, to check out 101-self-care-ideas-for-moms

Keep Loving Mommas,

 

I’ll see you around.

 

Nike Famojuro

Fellow MomLeader

 

Stay At Home Moms are CEOs

Friday, January 18th, 2019

I just had to write about this!

When you ask a Stay At Home mom,”What do you do?”

She usually doesn’t maintain eye contact and answer shyly, “I stay at home with the kids”

Or she gives a very nervous laugh and say, “The kids are my job”.

I have been a Stay at Home mom myself and I have done the same no doubt (too many times than I count).

Even now as a work from home mom, if asked, “What do I do?”  I am so quick to talk about the work I do from home – I’m a Mom-coach as opposed to claiming my place as a Stay At home mom who also runs MomLeader.

 

My question has always been, “Why do I feel like the work of a Stay At Home Mom cannot be considered as a job?”

I know that I cannot put a price on motherhood but then I cannot ignore all the work that goes into staying at home with the children. From cooking to cleaning to school runs to mitigating fights to diffusing temper tantrums – you name it!

You are so busy throughout the day yet at the end of the day it looks like you haven’t done much!

 

Truth be told, not every woman can survive being a Stay At Home Mom. Did you know that according to mother.ly and salary.com, the salary of a Stay At Home Mom for 2018 was estimated to be $162,581 per year. This was over $5000 increase from what it was in 2017!

 

Acoording to Salary.com, Jobs that reflected a day in the life of a Mom was used to achieve this estimated salary.

Example of the hybrid roles were (I picked out just a handful that jumped at me) :

  • Accountant
  • Buyer
  • Coach
  • CEO
  • Dietician
  • Event Planner
  • Interior Designer
  • Janitor
  • Judge
  • Laundry Manager
  • Logistics Analyst
  • Marketing Manage
  • Tailor
  • Tax Accountant
  • Staff Nurse
  • Psychologist
  • Day Care Centre Teacher

 

I can see why? I’m sure you can see why too!

These roles were put into consideration when  I was developing my Coaching program: MomLeader Incubator – a program for moms who want to start their dream business. I know quite well that Moms wear multiple hats.

My advice is that the next time you are asked, “What do you do?”

Don’t just say that “I’m just a Stay At Home Mom” – No you are not “JUST!”

Being a Stat At home Mom is a respectable role; an high paying role at that!!!!

You either respond with pride that: “You are a Stay At Home Mom” or better still, you can give whoever is asking the question a run down of the hybrid roles above 🙂

If you are curious, you can calculate your estimated salary as a Stay At Home Mom here. Just plug in your details to see what your salary would have been.

You might be interested in reading my recent blogposts:

Stay At Home Moms vs Working Moms

15 Honest Truths about Pregnancy

List of Inspiring Mom-Goals

 

I’ll see you around

Nike

Fellow MomLeader

15 Honest Truths about Pregnancy

Friday, January 4th, 2019

This goes out to all moms!

Here’s a list of 15 Honest Truths no one tells you about pregnancy. Some of them are my personal experiences and some are luckily not mine!

And mamas, before I go on, please don’t be shy to add to this list in the comments section below:

 

So, Here goes:

Pregnancy is HARD!!
I know moms especially some movie stars make it look so glamorous and effortless. I found out that pregnancy is a whole different ball game from day 1!

 

It is okay to admit that Pregnancy is NOT EASY for you:
Most people feel like they are ungrateful or just plain complaining if they admit that pregnancy is not easy. Oh well, let it all out!

 

Appetite Rollercoaster:

For some it is the never ending cravings; but for others it can be loss of appetite or the inevitable heartburn!

 

Peeing:

You will seek to pee in the most ridiculous places because when you have to go – you haveeeee to gooooo!

 

Belly-rubbing Crew:

Well meaning people are so thrilled to see a big belly. Please do not rub the belly even if the pregnant lady says it is ok.

 

You will look pregnant:

Whether the difference will be huge or not. You will look pregnant! If you didn’t look pregnant at the 1st or 2nd semester,   wait for it…

 

Wobble, wobble, wobble:

This is bound to happen. Buy comfortable shoes

 

Your belly after delivery will look pregnant:

This was a shock to me

 

Hemorrhoids:

They are real, whether during pregnancy or after you’ve had your bundle of joy.

 

Boogie, Boogers:

Have a tissue handy because you will be picking and plucking.

 

What’s with the skin:

From teenage acne to skin sag to stretch marks to black line on your belly. Be ready to say hello to skin changes.

 

Hello! “Farting-machine”:

 You get the picture!

 

Say goodbye to Sleep:

It is either you are looking for a comfortable sleep position all night or sleep won’t just come to you. Oh by the way, it gets worse when the little one arrives…(Just giving you heads-up!)

 

Compromised vision:

You will wonder what is wrong with your vision, don’t worry it is the pregnancy!

 

Getting back into your pre-pregnancy shape is hard work:

The truth is that asides from the discipline of losing weight, you now have a newborn which means you are too tired and uninspired to exercise.

 

These are my Top 15 Honest Truths about Pregnancy.

Despite all these, being mom is such a great privilege and the most unimaginable precious thing EVER!

 

Don’t forget to add your Honest Truths about Pregnancy in the Comments below or connect with me on instagram @iamamomleader.

I would love to hear all your Pregnancy Truths.

 

Ciao,

 

Nike Famojuro

Fellow MomLeader

 

List of Inspiring Mom-Goals

Friday, December 28th, 2018

Feeling STUCK as to where to start with setting your mom-goals for the New year!?!

I know the end of the year is when we make all these resolutions, but to be honest, you can start afresh at any time – any month, any day of the week and any time of the day. You can even decide to change from this very moment!!!

I understand that as moms, we can be super busy with the end of year activities and can neglect setting our mom-goals.

So, here are Five (5) Areas you need to consider when setting goals. I even added inspiring examples of mom-goals you can set in those areas – YES, you are welcome.  

1.PERSONAL

  • Love yourself
  • Self Care
  • Have a morning routine
  • Get More Sleep
  • Read More
  • Find an Outlet/Hobby
  • Travel more
  • See your children the way they are
  • Make New Friends
  • Challenge yourself more

 

2. HEALTH

  • Get fit
  • Join a gym or start an home exercise program
  • Eat more vegetables and fruits
  • Meal Prep every weekend
  • Make homemade snacks
  • Drink 2L of water everyday
  • Buy less takeaways
  • Keep Vital signs in the healthy range

 

3. FINANCIAL

  • Have a Budget
  • Get completely out of debt
  • Create an emergency fund
  • Buy a Home
  • Pay off Loans
  • Plan for large purchases
  • Save for Retirement
  • Increase your investment portfolio
  • Have multiple streams of income

 

4. FAMILY

  • Be Patient
  • Live in the Moment
  • Loose your temper less
  • Leave your work at work
  • Give more compliments
  • Appreciate your children more
  • Spend more time with your partner
  • Have “cell-phone free” conversations
  • Live life through your children’s eye
  • See your children they way they are
  • Be Flexible

 

5. SPIRITUAL

  • Pray more
  • Start Meditation
  • Go to Church regularly
  • Be more mindful
  • Be Mentor
  • Volunteer regularly
  • Help others more

 

These are five areas with inspiring mom-goals you can set. Please note that these examples are not specific; they are just a guide. If you are keen to set goals that would work – check out  this MomLeader VIdeo- https://bit.ly/2GlM41K..

 

You can subscribe to the MomLeader YouTube channel for more inspiring and Mom-helpful videos.

Oh, don’t forget to click the bell button – so you know when a new video is up.

 

See you next week!

 

“Mom-exercise” for Stay At Home Moms

Friday, December 14th, 2018

“Mom-exercise” is a form of exercising for moms. Before I explain what “M0m-exercise” is, I want to get you really interested by showing you the benefits of exercising.

 

I know that moms especially Stay At Home Moms (after cleaning, doing the dishes, doing school runs and getting dinner ready); the last thing you want to do is “exercise”. But trust me on this one, MomLeaders, there are great benefits of “mom-exercising” – asides from the all too known benefit of weight loss:

 

  1. Helps you feel happier:

Endorphins are your best friends. They are hormones that is known to produce positive feelings and reduce the perception of pain. Exercising increases the production of hormones called endorphins, which are known to help make you feel happier

Being at home can be a bit lonely/frustrating and the mind can really play games at times. Plus having to talk to toddlers all day or doing baby talk with newborns doesn’t help at times. Add in your female hormones and you will have a cocktail of a roller-coaster mood. Plus, you have to battle with mom-guilt as well.

Here’s the big one: you still have to care for your children and patiently answer their numerous questions, respond to their never ending requests without losing it.

I believe you will agree with me when I say that having all the help you can with your mood will really help.

 

  1. Increases energy levels:

This is quite ironic because you would think exercising will use up all your energy. Yes! Maybe! whilst exercising and maybe a few minutes after. Exercise can improve energy levels because it strengthens the circulation and your heart muscle.This means more energy to keep up with your children and their needs.

 

  1. Helps with skin health:

By increasing blood flow, exercise helps nourish skin cells and keep them vital. We all need that glow, right?!?

 

  1. Helps with brain health:

The benefits of exercise come directly from its ability to reduce insulin resistance, reduce inflammation, and stimulate the release of growth factors—chemicals in the brain that affect the health, abundance, survival and growth of brain cells. (according to the Harvard Health Publishing).

I guess we can all say bye to “mommy brain”!

 

  1. Helps with relaxation and sleeping:

All those sleepless nights with a newborn, sometimes can alter our sleeping pattern. Exercise can help with that – awesome!

 

What then is “Mom-exercise”?

It is a form of exercise designed specially for moms. Mom-exercise is a form of workout that suits moms schedule and way of life. It doesn’t have to be intense. Below are a list of Mom-exercises; pick the one that works best with you and have fun with it.

  •  30 mins walk with the lil one in the stroller
  • Going up and down your stairs a couple of times (10x at a time) 
  • Dancing time with the kiddos
  • Walking Lunges
  • Chair dips or squats
  • Step ups using the stairs

Whatever works for you, the most important thing is to make sure you schedule at least a 15 mins block for exercise (at least 3-5 times a week).

Exercise and enjoy its benefits!