You’ve read this and either you answered confidently, or you found yourself like a lot of the other moms I have come across, that can’t tenderly, answer that question.
When I am in my beginning coaching sessions with a mom, I will often ask them to describe who they are. A certain mom will answer with a job they used to do, enlighten me on all their hobbies they used to have fun with, what goals they pursued before children, but at the end of the day, none of that is actually who they are now. They struggle to tell me who they are as an individual now being a mom.
Now if you actually stop and ponder, can you answer that question. Not who you were, not where do you want to be, but truly, who are you know?
So much of our identity can be tied to our career, our freedom, our social lives and when motherhood comes, we aren’t quite sure what happened to all of that or where to get it back. Will we ever get “it”back?
Have you lost yourself, mama?
Moms lose themselves. We do. We lose our identity in our children. Sometimes it takes moms a year or two to rediscover themselves and others go for years hiding in baggy clothes, focusing on the best products for the family, putting everyone else’s needs first, before they realize they are in an identity crisis and they’ve lost themselves along the way.
Some moms feel that after having children they are supposed to be the most fulfilled they have ever been and unfortunately, that is just not the case. Understandably, there are some challenges we uniquely face and we have to learn to switch from our single self, our married no kids self, to a woman with children. You are not just a mom. You are your own unique person with her own desires, passions, and likes. Yes, you have them. Believe me.
“I don’t have time”. Well, we can get into “you management”later. Let’s save time saving for another post or better yet, let’s have a chat on the phone. Otherwise…
I encourage you to KNOW YOUR MOM-IDENTITY.
Remember to listen to yourself. This is actually a training that moms will have to start doing again as they put their needs aside and forget completely about themselves. I have seen moms say I will cook that because my son likes this, I will buy that because my husband likes this, but they fail time and time again to consider themselves and actually think and listen to themselves. Start paying attention to what you really want and not just what is expected of you. Do you hear that?
You are not your old self. You are not a future version of what you want to be. You are who you are at this moment. You have the power to change, to have more time, to set goals, and to have likes. Take the opportunity to take yourself on a date and rediscover your mom identity.
Have fun finding out who you are and let me know your process along the way.
Happy Monday to all moms, I hope you all had a fantastic Mother’s Day!
Mothers are simply amazing. Being a part of someone else’s life at whatever age is such a great privilege and also a great responsibility!
This responsibility requires a lot of bold steps to be taken on a daily basis. At every moment in our lives as moms, we make decisions that would not only affect us but also the family.
As you know by now, one of our Core Values at Momleader is “Be a Leader“.
Leadership requires wholeness.
A mom needs to be whole to be able to be an influencer.
Wholeness is not perfection, part of wholeness is the ability of a mom to take those required bold steps when making decisions like – what to feed her family, establishing her family’ values and also in the pursuit of her personal goals and dreams.
Moms would be able to achieve this if they are well informedwhen making these decisions.
This information is what we aim to provide at Momleader.
Being a Courageous Mom is all about following your mom-instincts, making “Informed decisions” plus following through with it.
Share your secret recipe for being a “Courageous Mom?”
We all know that children are not born with a manual – We all became moms the moment we were given our new born with no prior training. No matter how prepared we were to be a mom – when the real motherhood kicked in; we found out that we were not prepared! We believe that moms can learn a lot from others.
Having access to other moms (who are either at the same stage they are in or ahead of them); that is having access to moms who are willing to share their experiences, victories and failures with other moms helps greatly on the motherhood journey.
Moms should have access to an exciting and fun learning ground where lifelong relationships are built and nurtured.
Wondering why having mom-friends makes all the difference, here are three of the many reasons it is great to have mom friends:
1. Your own Cheering Squad – they have been there or are currently there so they get it
2. Your Advisors – Still based on experience, they are great for giving their “two cents” which might be exactly what you need
3. Your Personal Reminder – they will remind you that you are a great mom for those hard days. They will also remind you of what you are capable of!
Get a mom tribe or network whether online or off line.
Tradition has played a very important role in how moms run their homes. The media doesn’t really help to be honest. Perfect pictures on social media put moms under pressure to be “perfect moms”.
There is a major comparison and perception when it comes to what being a ‘great mom’ is. There’s the theory of attachment vs Independence, working mom vs stay at home moms; breastfeeding moms vs bottle fed moms and what to feed your toddler and what not. The question is not “what is right” vs “what is wrong”.
The question is “what is best for your family at this moment?” At momleader, we believe that a mom understands her needs and her family’ needs and she is flexible without judgement or overwhelming mom-guilt.
Welcome to our very first momleader monday! On the blog today, we will be discussing our very first core value of Momleader: Leadership.
Many people ask me why mom LEADER? This is really the founding block of who we are.
What does Leadership mean? Leadership is influence. We know that Great leaders don’t use their “positional” powers to bring about change; they use their “personal” power. What is their personal power? INFLUENCE. Every mom has the ability to add value in their home. As a Momleader, we use our personal power – empathy, problem solving skills, resilience, ability to prioritize, adapt, make tough calls and our personality to influence our children so that the world will be a better place. When you are a Momleader, you are a great leader in your home; when you are Great leader – you are an INFLUENCER!
Remember moms, no matter what influence you have, you are bringing it to the table everyday in your home and with your children. We need to harness that influence and make sure it is aligning with who we are and our family goals. How are you influencing and leading in your home?
Happy Monday to all our moms! We are so excited to introduce to you our Momleader Mondays – a series of videos that discuss our core values and the heart of who we are.
Over the coming weeks, we will be rolling out what drives us and what matters to us most at Momleader. Not only are we hoping to give you insight into who we are and what we believe in, but we also have some major changes brewing. Here at MomLeader, we have been working tirelessly to bring you the very best resources and platform to ensure your success at home, work, business and daily life.
So, Join us! See you next Monday as we discuss our very first core value, embark on some new changes with you, and share in our identity.
I can remember all the things my husband did wrong;
but I can’t remember where I put my keys!”
Being a Mom-Prenuer – Mom of two lil ones and Enterprenuer that works from home (literally anywhere in the home: from the kitchen to the bathroom!lol). I am usually asked this:
“Nike, How do you stay focussed?”
Today, I share 7 of my secrests to staying foccussed as an enterprenur-mom:
1. Prioritze your life:
We all have an endless to-do list! We know how overwhelming it can be when we are distracted or taken away from our current task. The distraction may be from well-meaning friends, our children or family members. To improve my focus, I have embraced the power of “NO” or “NOT RIGHT NOW”.
2. Nourish your concentration:
Coffee is great but too much coffee can be counter-productive – I’ve mentioned this is my previous post on Mom-exercise. I noticed that being a Mom-prenuer sometimes has an adverse effect on my food choices. Eating Vegetables, fruits (especially blueberries) and using Supplements (Such as Omega-3) helps boost focus.
3. Create Time blocks:
I love this concept of “Time blocks” – I teach this to moms in my Take Charge coaching program. This is a concept that allows me to group tasks into “Time – blocks”. It allows me to concentrate on that particular task and most importantly, because I have a rough idea of how long it will take to carry out the task within a particular Time – block, I can easily schedule when it will work or if my circumstance will allow each “Time-block”.
4. Don’t give in to overwhelm:
Overwhelm is the killer of focus. I ensure that I rid myself of things, circumstances that would make me feel overwhelmed. Having a To -Do list helps greatly because not only does it make me stay focussed, it also allows me to do a brain dump and I can clearly see what needs to be done!
I find that when I have a big task on my to do, it affects why concentration. I am constantly thinking about that big task and I dot focus on the task Im currently carrying out. To overcome this, I try as much as possible to deal with all my big tasks first. That way, I feel accomplished throughout the day and I also banish that “dreadful” feeling of a Pending big task!
7. Have a morning routine:
This is actually one of the most important point. The way I start my day sets the tone for my day. The things I do in the morning are: Pray, Meditate, Stretch/Exercise and then start my day. My mantra is this: “Don’t let your emails rule your life”
I love learning, please let me know if you have any other suggestions.
We know that self-care is good for you but I think we have a wrong conception of what Self-Care is all about he doesn’t have to be expensive yeah and it doesn’t have to take too much of your time and that’s why in this video I’m going to show you ten (10) Self-Care Ideas that you can do that doesn’t cost you much or it actually costs nothing.
For Best Advice for Moms who want to find their identity or their purpose or their passion, subscribe to my channel where I release new videos every Thursday to help you achieve that and don’t forget to click the bell button for notification.
I know that for most moms we’re always running on a very tight budget even on a very tight schedule and so when someone says, “Self-Care”, you’re like – “No I don’t have time for that” and that’s why this video will show you Ten (10) Self-Care ideasthat you can incorporate to your me-time and the good thing about it is thesis 10 things don’t cost anything.
Yep! and then it doesn’t take that long plus you can download the Ultimate Self Care List which you can use as a guide any time you want to practice Self-Care. Okay now let’s get to it.
The first one is this “Go To Bed Early”.Yeah, I said “go to bed earlier than your bedtime”. Now all you need to do really is just make sure that the kids actually could to bed earlier than their usual bedtime or if you get someone to watch the kids, just make sure you go to bed maybe 10-15 earlier than your regular time than you sleep and trust me, it changes the game. That 10-15 minutes changes a lot. That is another one out of the 10 Self Care Ideas for Moms.
The second one is this “Find A Hobby“. It doesn’t have to be something that’s expensive like I said or time consuming but just look for those little things that you used to love doing that doesn’t cost anything and do that simple.
Third one is this “Nap Time” yeah, I know you say that to your kids but how about you incorporate nap time for yourself. I know that the first advice they give any new mom is when the baby sleep you should sleep but how many mom’s actually do that so either you incorporate the nap time when they go for naps or you take a nap and you let them know – “mommy needs enough” and nap doesn’t have to be for hours, 10-15 minutes nap; you know you could use that and you know it’s interesting if you want to think about actually in my next video I show you mom-hacks for self-care and you get really creative with you enjoying Self-Care. Comment below if you like the word “nap” and just type “nap, nap, nap!”.
The next one is this “Read A Book”.Read a book or a magazine or a comic book whatever catches your fancy get a book in the house sit down read it that’s Self-Care right there. You will be lost in that book that you will forget whatever you are going through at that moment and just enjoy yourself that’s it.
The next one is “Watch The Sunset Or The Sunrise”.This is very interesting all you need to do is just pull your curtains
very early morning and just look at the Sun rise, yeah, or in the evening and watch the sunset. 10-15 minutes and it’s really, really, good for you. You just take that break and just enjoy everything around you.
The next one is “Positive Self-Talk”now you need that now whatever’s going to get you going is up to you. Some people like affirmations,
some people like podcast, some people like you know writing things on the wall whatever gets you going just to do a Positive Self-Talk. What I do is I stand in front of a mirror just to do my Positive Self-Talk five minutes the most I’m done and that Self-Care right there
The next one is “Listen To Relaxing Music”now you know what relaxes you. What relaxes you is your thing don’t anybody make you bad about what you’re listening to just make sure you popped in that music about 5-10 minutes to actually listen to that music and feel the music and that would help you to relax now.
The next one is and I’m going to say it “Do Nothing”you can actually do nothing it’s okay for you to stop and actually “do nothing” fifteen minutes busy moms it’s okay for you to do nothing. For you to just shut down and I just listen to your inner self for just ten minutes.
You can also “Make A Lunch For Yourself”so you know you doing all these meal preps and packing lunch for the kids for the next day. How about you pack your own lunch as well right? that’s another one out of the 10 Self Care Ideas. The truth is most of time, we are so busy during the day that we don’t get anything to eat or we make unhealthy choices. How about when you’re packing their lunch you pack yours and there you have it
Tthe last one is this “Exercise” now when you are exercising, I’m not saying you go join the gym or do something straineous. Exercise may be something as easy as going for 10-15 minutes’ walk oh just keep going up and down the stairs now we know there are so many benefits of exercise and that’s Self-Care for you so 5-10 minutes give yourself some fun exercises and actually be in the moment during the exercise that is Self-Care.
So there you have it: that’s a list of 10 things you can do that’s not going to cost you anything and doesn’t take that long to get you to care for yourself and PLUS don’t forget you can always download my Ultimate Self Care List that you can use as a guide if you need more ideas like this and don’t worry you need to just watch out for my next video where I talked about the mom-hacks for Self Care Ideas which will help you to get super creative as well as.
Remember to like, share, comment and also please do share this your other mom friends just like you out there so that every mom out there would actually enjoy Self-Care and live a better life and have better relationships.
Valentine Ideas for Moms for the Valentine’ Weekend.
“Everyone says that you fall in love once that is not TRUE
because every time when I see you,
I fall in love with you all over again”
Valentine is here!
Love is in the air!
Valentine is always a time when the sale of roses, chocolates and cards are at their peak. I find that most Valentines, people lack Valentine ideas for moms; so moms are given gifts they don’t really like. Gifts like: Fake flowers, gym membership, sugar free candy, self help books or ill fitting lingeries or night dress.
Here are a list of 10 Simple Romantic Valentine ideas for Moms, especially new moms or moms with little ones.
Moms, get inspired with this list and pass it one to your Valentine!
1. Sleep in:
Weekends can be a chore; instead of being up and running around to get everyone ready; how about taking time off. You can also go into work later in the day to have some time to sleep-in on Valentine’s Weekend.
2. Make Breakfast together:
Making breakfast with your Valentine is a great way to spend Valentine. Especially if it is just you two 😉
3. Take Bubble Bath:
Interesting how most moms take a bath because they think they deserve it. Having a bath doesn’t have to be a treat! It can be something you do everyday. If you still feel it is a treat, here’s a Valentine Idea for moms -“Valentine’s Weekend Bubble Bath”. Treat yourself to some nice scents, candles, fresh flowers, great music – all the works.
4. Watch a Romantic Movie together:
There’s nothing as romantic as watching a romantic goofy valentine movie with your Valentine. I mean uninterrupted. If you have to get someone to watch the kids, take the time off. You can either watch the movie in your living room or go out to the movies.
5. Dress up and go somewhere nice:
Dressing up brings up a great feeling. It is a good time to wear that “One-day-I-will-wear-you” dress. Dress up and go somewhere really nice. Visit those “one-day-I-will-visit” restaurant.
6. Listen to some love music together:
Put on some candles, set in the mood (sit by the fire place) and listen to some Love music together. Oldies does it for me – it brings up some really great memories.
7. Massage: Either do a DIY – you can buy the oils from a local store near you, have some candles, good music and voila! Or you can treat your partner to a massage, pedicure or manicure appointment
8. Stay up Late:
Nothing beats staying up late…no more to be said here!
9. Create a List of “why you love your partner”:
You can either send a romantic text messages to your partner or you can write it out in a card. As long as those words are from your heart.
10. A night off from Bedtime Routine:
The chore of Bedtime routine can be exhausting. You either have the kids do a sleep-over or you get the nanny to put them to sleep or you get your partner to do it. Skipping this routine is such a great Valentine treat for moms.
SEVEN PRACTICAL WAYS YOU CAN SHOW LOVE TO YOUR CHILDREN
I get this most times from Moms in my MomLeader Coaching Programs.
I often ask this question: “Do you show love to your children, that is; You love your children but do they know that?”
Pretty ironic right?!?
Here are Seven (7)n Practical Ways You Can Show Love To Your Child.
PS: It is NEVER to late or too early to start.
1. TELL THEM YOU LOVE THEM: This seems like a no-brainer right!?
Life can get busy that all we communicate to our children is what they are not doing right or their schedules, what is expected of them etc.
We forget at times to tell them what they need to hear (even though the child will not admit it! lol).
They need to hear it from you that you love them…PERIOD!…Say it!
2. PRAISE THEM:
This is kind of tied in with you telling your child you love them, that is, how you show love to your children.
Praising them is something you have to do consciously especially when you are going through difficult times with your child. Because of moms “nurturer” nature, we often only see EVERYTHING that needs to be fixed and we NEGLECT the things that are going on well. Find the good in your child and praise them for it
3. LISTEN TO YOUR CHILD;
9 out of 10, the biggest issue we had with our parents was that they didn’t listen to us…so Mommas, why aren’t we listening to our children?
Always adopt this Steve Covey Effective Listening style which is:
“Seek first to Understand, then to be Understood”.
That is, concentrate on what is being said; rather concentrating on your response.
4. BE PRESENT:
Doing more than one task at once seems great because it allows us to get so many things done in a limited amount of time.
The disadvantage is that we tend not to be present while carrying a task.
When spending time with your child, be present.
All you need to do is create a time block for your child, with no interruption and with you being fully present.
This is definitely important if you want to show love to your children.
5. LAX THE RULES ONCE IN A WHILE: It is awesome to have a schedule with the children especially when dealing with younger children.
But every now and then, it is okay to lax the rules.
How about if they stay up late on a Friday night and watch a goofy movie with you or eat their breakfast in bed on Saturday morning…whatever you know they would like, lax the rules and watch their faces light up…Priceless!
6. SURPRISE THEM:
Everyone loves a good surprise – not just on Birthdays!
But remember, it is about them and not about you; so bear that in mind when choosing either what to give them or what activity to do.
Do your research and NAIL it!
7. CREATE FAMILY TIME:
This concept is super important because it creates and nurtures closeness between family especially siblings. It is just like how companies have Team building programs with their staff members to encourage Team Dynamics.
By taking time off and being diligent with Family Time will not only create great Team Dynamics with your children, it is also a way you can show your family that you love them!