Posts Tagged ‘love’

Who am I now? Struggling with your mom identity.

Monday, June 3rd, 2019

You’re a mom, but, WHO ARE YOU?

You’ve read this and either you answered confidently, or you found yourself like a lot of the other moms I have come across, that can’t tenderly, answer that question.

When I am in my beginning coaching sessions with a mom, I will often ask them to describe who they are. A certain mom will answer with a job they used to do, enlighten me on all their hobbies they used to have fun with, what goals they pursued before children, but at the end of the day, none of that is actually who they are now. They struggle to tell me who they are as an individual now being a mom.

Now if you actually stop and ponder, can you answer that question. Not who you were, not where do you want to be, but truly, who are you know?

So much of our identity can be tied to our career, our freedom, our social lives and when motherhood comes, we aren’t quite sure what happened to all of that or where to get it back. Will we ever get “it”back?

Have you lost yourself, mama?

Moms lose themselves. We do. We lose our identity in our children. Sometimes it takes moms a year or two to rediscover themselves and others go for years hiding in baggy clothes, focusing on the best products for the family, putting everyone else’s needs first, before they realize they are in an identity crisis and they’ve lost themselves along the way.

Some moms feel that after having children they are supposed to be the most fulfilled they have ever been and unfortunately, that is just not the case. Understandably, there are some challenges we uniquely face and we have to learn to switch from our single self, our married no kids self, to a woman with children. You are not just a mom. You are your own unique person with her own desires, passions, and likes. Yes, you have them. Believe me.

“I don’t have time”. Well, we can get into “you management”later. Let’s save time saving for another post or better yet, let’s have a chat on the phone. Otherwise…

I encourage you to KNOW YOUR MOM-IDENTITY.

Remember to listen to yourself. This is actually a training that moms will have to start doing again as they put their needs aside and forget completely about themselves. I have seen moms say I will cook that because my son likes this, I will buy that because my husband likes this, but they fail time and time again to consider themselves and actually think and listen to themselves. Start paying attention to what you really want and not just what is expected of you. Do you hear that?

You are not your old self. You are not a future version of what you want to be. You are who you are at this moment. You have the power to change, to have more time, to set goals, and to have likes. Take the opportunity to take yourself on a date and rediscover your mom identity.

Have fun finding out who you are and let me know your process along the way.

Nike

Fellow Momleader

Be Courageous – Momleader Mondays

Tuesday, May 14th, 2019

BE COURAGEOUS

Happy Monday to all moms, I hope you all had a fantastic Mother’s Day!

Mothers are simply amazing. Being a part of someone else’s life at whatever age is such a great privilege and also a great responsibility!
This responsibility requires a lot of bold steps to be taken on a daily basis. At every moment in our lives as moms, we make decisions that would not only affect us but also the family.

As you know by now, one of our Core Values at Momleader is “Be a Leader“.

Leadership requires wholeness.

A mom needs to be whole to be able to be an influencer.

Wholeness is not perfection, part of wholeness is the ability of a mom to take those required bold steps when making decisions like – what to feed her family, establishing her family’ values and also in the pursuit of her personal goals and dreams.

Moms would be able to achieve this if they are well informed when making these decisions.

This information is what we aim to provide at Momleader.

Being a Courageous Mom is all about following your mom-instincts, making “Informed decisions” plus following through with it.

Share your secret recipe for being a “Courageous Mom?”

Comment below

Watch Here >>>

See our previous Core Values here <<<<

See all Core Values here <<<<

Build Relationships – Momleader Mondays

Monday, May 6th, 2019

BUILD RELATIONSHIPS

We all know that children are not born with a manual – We all became moms the moment we were given our new born with no prior training. No matter how prepared we were to be a mom – when the real motherhood kicked in; we found out that we were not prepared! We believe that moms can learn a lot from others.

Having access to other moms (who are either at the same stage they are in or ahead of them); that is having access to moms who are willing to share their experiences, victories and failures with other moms helps greatly on the motherhood journey.

Moms should have access to an exciting and fun learning ground where lifelong relationships are built and nurtured.

Wondering why having mom-friends makes all the difference, here are three of the many reasons it is great to have mom friends:
1. Your own Cheering Squad – they have been there or are currently there so they get it
2. Your Advisors – Still based on experience, they are great for giving their “two cents” which might be exactly what you need
3. Your Personal Reminder – they will remind you that you are a great mom for those hard days. They will also remind you of what you are capable of!
Get a mom tribe or network whether online or off line.

Watch the Video here >>>

Watch the previous Core Values here<<<

10 Simple Romantic Valentine Ideas for Moms

Friday, February 15th, 2019

Valentine Ideas for Moms for the Valentine’ Weekend.

“Everyone says that you fall in love once that is not TRUE

because every time when I see you,

I fall in love with you all over again”

– Unknown

 

Valentine is here!

Love is in the air!

 

 

Valentine is always a time when the sale of roses, chocolates and cards are at their peak. I find that most Valentines, people lack Valentine ideas for moms; so moms are given gifts they don’t really like. Gifts like: Fake flowers, gym membership, sugar free candy, self help books or ill fitting lingeries or night dress.

 

Here are a list of 10 Simple Romantic Valentine ideas for Moms, especially new moms or moms with little ones.

Moms, get inspired with this list and pass it one to your Valentine!

 

1. Sleep in:

Weekends can be a chore; instead of being up and running around to get everyone ready; how about taking time off. You can also go into work later in the day to have some time to sleep-in on Valentine’s Weekend.

 

2. Make Breakfast together:

Making breakfast with your Valentine is a great way to spend Valentine. Especially if it is just you two 😉

 

3. Take Bubble Bath:

Interesting how most  moms take a bath because they think they deserve it. Having a bath doesn’t have to be a treat! It can be something you do everyday. If you still feel it is a treat, here’s a Valentine Idea for moms -“Valentine’s Weekend Bubble Bath”. Treat yourself to some nice scents, candles, fresh flowers, great music – all the works.

 

4. Watch a Romantic Movie together:

There’s nothing as romantic as watching a romantic goofy valentine movie with your Valentine. I mean uninterrupted. If you have to get someone to watch the kids, take the time off. You can either watch the movie in your living room or go out to the movies.

 

5. Dress up and go somewhere nice:

Dressing up brings up a great feeling. It is a good time to wear that “One-day-I-will-wear-you” dress. Dress up and go somewhere really nice. Visit those “one-day-I-will-visit” restaurant.

 

6. Listen to some love music together:

Put on some candles, set in the mood (sit by the fire place) and listen to some Love music together. Oldies does it for me – it brings up some really great memories.

 

7. Massage:
Either do a DIY – you can buy the oils from a local store near you, have some candles, good music and voila! Or you can treat your partner to a massage, pedicure or manicure appointment

 

8. Stay up Late:

Nothing beats staying up late…no more to be said here!

 

9. Create a List of “why you love your partner”:

You can either send a romantic text messages to your partner or you can write it out in a card. As long as those words are from your heart.

 

10. A night off from Bedtime Routine:

The chore of Bedtime routine can be exhausting. You either have the kids do a sleep-over or you get the nanny to put them to sleep or you get your partner to do it. Skipping this routine is such a great Valentine treat for  moms.

 

Dont forget to love yourself – Check this post on Self Care: 

Watch my YouTube Video on Self-care here: www.youtu.be/bhqhZdgYw3M

 

Happy Valentines to all Moms out there!

 

Chao!

 

I’ll See you around

 

Nike Famojuro

Fellow MomLeader

@iamamomleader

Seven Practical Ways You Can Show Love To Your Children

Friday, February 1st, 2019

SEVEN PRACTICAL WAYS YOU CAN SHOW LOVE TO YOUR CHILDREN

I get this most times from Moms in my MomLeader Coaching Programs.
I often ask this question: “Do you show love to your children, that is; 
You love your children but do they know that?”

Tweet this

Pretty ironic right?!?

Here are Seven (7)n Practical Ways You Can Show Love To Your Child.

PS: It is NEVER to late or too early to start.

1. TELL THEM YOU LOVE THEM:
This seems like a no-brainer right!?

Life can get busy that all we communicate to our children is what they are not doing right or their schedules, what is expected of them etc.

We forget at times to tell them what they need to hear (even though the child will not admit it! lol).

They need to hear it from you that you love them…PERIOD!…Say it!

 

2. PRAISE THEM:

This is kind of tied in with you telling your child you love them, that is, how you show love to your children.

Praising them is something you have to do consciously especially when you are going through difficult times with your child. Because of moms “nurturer” nature, we often only see EVERYTHING that needs to be fixed and we NEGLECT the things that are going on well. Find the good in your child and praise them for it

 

3. LISTEN TO YOUR CHILD;

9 out of 10, the biggest issue we had with our parents was that they didn’t listen to us…so Mommas, why aren’t  we listening to our children?

Always adopt this Steve Covey Effective Listening style which is:

“Seek first to Understand, then to be Understood”.

That is, concentrate on what is being said; rather concentrating on your response.

 

4. BE PRESENT:

Doing more than one task at once seems great because it allows us to get so many things done in a limited amount of time.

The disadvantage is that we tend not to be present while carrying a task.

When spending time with your child, be present.

All you need to do is create a time block for your child, with no interruption and with you being fully present.

This is definitely important if you want to show love to your children.

 

5. LAX THE RULES ONCE IN A WHILE:
It is awesome to have a schedule with the children especially when dealing with younger children.

But every now and then, it is okay to lax the rules.

How about if they stay up  late on a Friday night and watch a goofy movie with you or eat their breakfast in bed on Saturday morning…whatever you know they would like, lax the rules and watch their faces light up…Priceless!

 

6. SURPRISE THEM:

Everyone loves a good surprise – not just on Birthdays!

But remember, it is about them and not about you; so bear that in mind when choosing either what to give them or  what activity to do.

Do your research and NAIL it!

 

7. CREATE FAMILY TIME:

This concept is super important because it creates and nurtures closeness between family especially siblings. It is just like how companies have Team building programs with their staff members to encourage Team Dynamics.

By taking time off and being diligent with Family Time will not only create great Team Dynamics with your children, it is also a way you can show your family that you love them!

 

There you have it, 7 Practical Ways You Can Show Love to Your Child…if you want more, you can download the 37 Practical Ways You Can Show Love To Your Child here >> >

Remember, to check out 101-self-care-ideas-for-moms

Keep Loving Mommas,

 

I’ll see you around.

 

Nike Famojuro

Fellow MomLeader

 

15 Honest Truths about Pregnancy

Friday, January 4th, 2019

This goes out to all moms!

Here’s a list of 15 Honest Truths no one tells you about pregnancy. Some of them are my personal experiences and some are luckily not mine!

And mamas, before I go on, please don’t be shy to add to this list in the comments section below:

 

So, Here goes:

Pregnancy is HARD!!
I know moms especially some movie stars make it look so glamorous and effortless. I found out that pregnancy is a whole different ball game from day 1!

 

It is okay to admit that Pregnancy is NOT EASY for you:
Most people feel like they are ungrateful or just plain complaining if they admit that pregnancy is not easy. Oh well, let it all out!

 

Appetite Rollercoaster:

For some it is the never ending cravings; but for others it can be loss of appetite or the inevitable heartburn!

 

Peeing:

You will seek to pee in the most ridiculous places because when you have to go – you haveeeee to gooooo!

 

Belly-rubbing Crew:

Well meaning people are so thrilled to see a big belly. Please do not rub the belly even if the pregnant lady says it is ok.

 

You will look pregnant:

Whether the difference will be huge or not. You will look pregnant! If you didn’t look pregnant at the 1st or 2nd semester,   wait for it…

 

Wobble, wobble, wobble:

This is bound to happen. Buy comfortable shoes

 

Your belly after delivery will look pregnant:

This was a shock to me

 

Hemorrhoids:

They are real, whether during pregnancy or after you’ve had your bundle of joy.

 

Boogie, Boogers:

Have a tissue handy because you will be picking and plucking.

 

What’s with the skin:

From teenage acne to skin sag to stretch marks to black line on your belly. Be ready to say hello to skin changes.

 

Hello! “Farting-machine”:

 You get the picture!

 

Say goodbye to Sleep:

It is either you are looking for a comfortable sleep position all night or sleep won’t just come to you. Oh by the way, it gets worse when the little one arrives…(Just giving you heads-up!)

 

Compromised vision:

You will wonder what is wrong with your vision, don’t worry it is the pregnancy!

 

Getting back into your pre-pregnancy shape is hard work:

The truth is that asides from the discipline of losing weight, you now have a newborn which means you are too tired and uninspired to exercise.

 

These are my Top 15 Honest Truths about Pregnancy.

Despite all these, being mom is such a great privilege and the most unimaginable precious thing EVER!

 

Don’t forget to add your Honest Truths about Pregnancy in the Comments below or connect with me on instagram @iamamomleader.

I would love to hear all your Pregnancy Truths.

 

Ciao,

 

Nike Famojuro

Fellow MomLeader

 

“Mom-exercise” for Stay At Home Moms

Friday, December 14th, 2018

“Mom-exercise” is a form of exercising for moms. Before I explain what “M0m-exercise” is, I want to get you really interested by showing you the benefits of exercising.

 

I know that moms especially Stay At Home Moms (after cleaning, doing the dishes, doing school runs and getting dinner ready); the last thing you want to do is “exercise”. But trust me on this one, MomLeaders, there are great benefits of “mom-exercising” – asides from the all too known benefit of weight loss:

 

  1. Helps you feel happier:

Endorphins are your best friends. They are hormones that is known to produce positive feelings and reduce the perception of pain. Exercising increases the production of hormones called endorphins, which are known to help make you feel happier

Being at home can be a bit lonely/frustrating and the mind can really play games at times. Plus having to talk to toddlers all day or doing baby talk with newborns doesn’t help at times. Add in your female hormones and you will have a cocktail of a roller-coaster mood. Plus, you have to battle with mom-guilt as well.

Here’s the big one: you still have to care for your children and patiently answer their numerous questions, respond to their never ending requests without losing it.

I believe you will agree with me when I say that having all the help you can with your mood will really help.

 

  1. Increases energy levels:

This is quite ironic because you would think exercising will use up all your energy. Yes! Maybe! whilst exercising and maybe a few minutes after. Exercise can improve energy levels because it strengthens the circulation and your heart muscle.This means more energy to keep up with your children and their needs.

 

  1. Helps with skin health:

By increasing blood flow, exercise helps nourish skin cells and keep them vital. We all need that glow, right?!?

 

  1. Helps with brain health:

The benefits of exercise come directly from its ability to reduce insulin resistance, reduce inflammation, and stimulate the release of growth factors—chemicals in the brain that affect the health, abundance, survival and growth of brain cells. (according to the Harvard Health Publishing).

I guess we can all say bye to “mommy brain”!

 

  1. Helps with relaxation and sleeping:

All those sleepless nights with a newborn, sometimes can alter our sleeping pattern. Exercise can help with that – awesome!

 

What then is “Mom-exercise”?

It is a form of exercise designed specially for moms. Mom-exercise is a form of workout that suits moms schedule and way of life. It doesn’t have to be intense. Below are a list of Mom-exercises; pick the one that works best with you and have fun with it.

  •  30 mins walk with the lil one in the stroller
  • Going up and down your stairs a couple of times (10x at a time) 
  • Dancing time with the kiddos
  • Walking Lunges
  • Chair dips or squats
  • Step ups using the stairs

Whatever works for you, the most important thing is to make sure you schedule at least a 15 mins block for exercise (at least 3-5 times a week).

Exercise and enjoy its benefits!

Christmas Tips for Moms – Part 2

Thursday, December 13th, 2018

Okay….Here’s goes Part 2.

As always I will get right to it:

  1. MAKE ROOM:

In my earlier post, I mentioned cleaning up and Donating.
Well, Declutter and make room for all those christmas presents you know are coming your way.

It is extra work but it is worth it.

 

2. MINIMIZE FOOD PREP:

I know traditionally, especially on Christmas day, we are up doing food prep the night before and right up to the time when we cook the Christmas lunch or dinner.

My tip for Momleaders, is get creative and think of ways you can minimize food prep time.

This is one of the many lessons I share with moms in my coaching program – Take Charge.

 

3. BUDGET:

This time of the year can be expensive with buying presents, decorating, hosting parties, doing renovations etc.

Two things MomLeaders should do:
–  Have a budget

– Stick to the budget.

 

4. CONSIDER DISPOSABLES:

Do you really have to bring out all the breakables and do all that washing this Christmas season?!?

You already have lots to do, my tip would be to consider using those stashed away disposable plates to make your life easier this season.

 

5. PLAN, PLAN, PLAN:
Plan your week ahead – those errands, gifts, christmas shopping…

This is the season to plan so that you won’t be overwhelmed and distracted.

 

Enjoy MomLeaders!!!

 

 

The unique calling of stay-home moms

Monday, July 10th, 2017

Comparison is the thief of joy”

Theodore Roosevelt

Just as it is in every other sphere of life, the decision to be a leader in the workplace is a unique calling. For some, the workplace is the home and for others, their secular jobs. Neither of the 2 is superior or inferior to the other; however, dissatisfaction looms when we look at others with envy, through the lens of comparison. We are familiar with all the sayings from childhood, sayings that we even teach our kids, sayings designed to foster contentment and eliminate jealousy:

“The grass always seems greener on the other side!”

“Not all that glitters is gold!”

Nevertheless, we often catch ourselves wondering if our lives would be happier if we had a secular job to dress up and go to very early in the morning, plowing through traffic to go and meet a very demanding boss and insatiable customers, spending late hours to complete projects and returning exhausted through traffic and darkness to slump into bed and repeat the same routine the following day, always looking forward to the weekend. If you think about it, it doesn’t sound much like a recipe for happiness, does it?

In my experience, dissatisfaction arises when we fail to see the uniqueness and/or purpose of something, someone, or of an experience. Here are my thoughts on the joys of being a stay-home mum:

  1. You care mostly for people you already love
  2. Training requirements are instinctive
  3. You have time to explore your passions, interests, business ideas
  4. You can supplement your kids’ education with home schooling
  5. You don’t need to book limited vacation days
  6. You can attend workshops that pique your interest
  7. You can re-train for current job trends at your own pace

Written by Samuel Ambie-Barango