Posts Tagged ‘motivation’

Who am I now? Struggling with your mom identity.

Monday, June 3rd, 2019

You’re a mom, but, WHO ARE YOU?

You’ve read this and either you answered confidently, or you found yourself like a lot of the other moms I have come across, that can’t tenderly, answer that question.

When I am in my beginning coaching sessions with a mom, I will often ask them to describe who they are. A certain mom will answer with a job they used to do, enlighten me on all their hobbies they used to have fun with, what goals they pursued before children, but at the end of the day, none of that is actually who they are now. They struggle to tell me who they are as an individual now being a mom.

Now if you actually stop and ponder, can you answer that question. Not who you were, not where do you want to be, but truly, who are you know?

So much of our identity can be tied to our career, our freedom, our social lives and when motherhood comes, we aren’t quite sure what happened to all of that or where to get it back. Will we ever get “it”back?

Have you lost yourself, mama?

Moms lose themselves. We do. We lose our identity in our children. Sometimes it takes moms a year or two to rediscover themselves and others go for years hiding in baggy clothes, focusing on the best products for the family, putting everyone else’s needs first, before they realize they are in an identity crisis and they’ve lost themselves along the way.

Some moms feel that after having children they are supposed to be the most fulfilled they have ever been and unfortunately, that is just not the case. Understandably, there are some challenges we uniquely face and we have to learn to switch from our single self, our married no kids self, to a woman with children. You are not just a mom. You are your own unique person with her own desires, passions, and likes. Yes, you have them. Believe me.

“I don’t have time”. Well, we can get into “you management”later. Let’s save time saving for another post or better yet, let’s have a chat on the phone. Otherwise…

I encourage you to KNOW YOUR MOM-IDENTITY.

Remember to listen to yourself. This is actually a training that moms will have to start doing again as they put their needs aside and forget completely about themselves. I have seen moms say I will cook that because my son likes this, I will buy that because my husband likes this, but they fail time and time again to consider themselves and actually think and listen to themselves. Start paying attention to what you really want and not just what is expected of you. Do you hear that?

You are not your old self. You are not a future version of what you want to be. You are who you are at this moment. You have the power to change, to have more time, to set goals, and to have likes. Take the opportunity to take yourself on a date and rediscover your mom identity.

Have fun finding out who you are and let me know your process along the way.

Nike

Fellow Momleader

Be Courageous – Momleader Mondays

Tuesday, May 14th, 2019

BE COURAGEOUS

Happy Monday to all moms, I hope you all had a fantastic Mother’s Day!

Mothers are simply amazing. Being a part of someone else’s life at whatever age is such a great privilege and also a great responsibility!
This responsibility requires a lot of bold steps to be taken on a daily basis. At every moment in our lives as moms, we make decisions that would not only affect us but also the family.

As you know by now, one of our Core Values at Momleader is “Be a Leader“.

Leadership requires wholeness.

A mom needs to be whole to be able to be an influencer.

Wholeness is not perfection, part of wholeness is the ability of a mom to take those required bold steps when making decisions like – what to feed her family, establishing her family’ values and also in the pursuit of her personal goals and dreams.

Moms would be able to achieve this if they are well informed when making these decisions.

This information is what we aim to provide at Momleader.

Being a Courageous Mom is all about following your mom-instincts, making “Informed decisions” plus following through with it.

Share your secret recipe for being a “Courageous Mom?”

Comment below

Watch Here >>>

See our previous Core Values here <<<<

See all Core Values here <<<<

Build Relationships – Momleader Mondays

Monday, May 6th, 2019

BUILD RELATIONSHIPS

We all know that children are not born with a manual – We all became moms the moment we were given our new born with no prior training. No matter how prepared we were to be a mom – when the real motherhood kicked in; we found out that we were not prepared! We believe that moms can learn a lot from others.

Having access to other moms (who are either at the same stage they are in or ahead of them); that is having access to moms who are willing to share their experiences, victories and failures with other moms helps greatly on the motherhood journey.

Moms should have access to an exciting and fun learning ground where lifelong relationships are built and nurtured.

Wondering why having mom-friends makes all the difference, here are three of the many reasons it is great to have mom friends:
1. Your own Cheering Squad – they have been there or are currently there so they get it
2. Your Advisors – Still based on experience, they are great for giving their “two cents” which might be exactly what you need
3. Your Personal Reminder – they will remind you that you are a great mom for those hard days. They will also remind you of what you are capable of!
Get a mom tribe or network whether online or off line.

Watch the Video here >>>

Watch the previous Core Values here<<<

Have balance – Momleader Mondays

Monday, April 22nd, 2019

BALANCE

Moms juggle a lot. We know this because we ARE moms.

A Momleader understands balance because she has access to resources, lessons, hacks and tips that will help her have a balanced life at home, work, business or in the community. A momleader understands the importance of taking care and nurturing herself and knowing her priorities. When your family and goals are set, your intent of the day is known. We coach moms on how to be structured in aligning their goals and setting out to achieve them however, sometimes, that isn’t always possible and life happens. You can plan 10 things to do in a day and neither of them get done because your child is sick, or you are going through some fussy toddler times, or things just aren’t working for that day. We all know that children are not born with a manual – We all became moms the moment we were given our new born with no prior training. No matter how prepared we were to be a mom – when the real motherhood kicked in; we found out that we were not prepared!

We believe moms should be willing to take risks as well. Not everything tried and true will work for you! Remember that. You have to try new things and adjust – just because it didn’t work for your children once, try, try again! As we’ve been learning, they change their mind!

A momleader to us picks her battles, is organised, is able to adjust and has a positive mental attitude. Balance is key. You wanted to workout in the morning and your children wouldn’t let you because they were fighting and you were running late so you couldn’t get to the groceries. Stop and reflect. You still have the rest of the day to tackle these things. Put the time constraint and “time pressure” off of you and work in task based mode or in time blocks. Did you work out at all today even if it was in the evening? Did you end up going for a walk with the children as a flexible compromise instead of doing your normal gym routine? Did you throw in the towel today on everything because mentally you just weren’t “on”? Trust me moms. We know what you go through. Don’t mom-guilt yourself! We can be our biggest enemies. The biggest things I tell my clients is give yourself the flexibility to be human as well. For instance, you are allowed to say “I’m busy”. (I’m busy doing nothing and no I don’t want to get together with anyone because I am still in my pj’s and I don’t really want to clean my house…..) Thats ok! Don’t guilt yourself on it. Sometimes we can stay in that realm of having to get everything done but we need to be flexible in getting things done when we can – for example, I type this post as my child is in the bath. Another example is have some mental down time by showing up to your kid’s school 10 min early. There are ways to allow yourself some freedom of the task list. You just need to know where to bend and how to be flexible.

What’s really important to us is that our mom leaders understand their personal needs and their family’ needs and that they are flexible without judgement or overwhelming mom-guilt. So, talk to us. What’s your biggest challenge in achieving proper balance?

>>>>>  Have Balance – Momleader Mondays

Be a High Performer – Momleader Mondays

Tuesday, April 16th, 2019

BE A HIGH PERFORMER: Our core value

Happy Momleader Monday. We are excited to share with you our next core value which is being a High performer.

A Momleader is a High Performer, that is, we know what we want, and we put in the work everyday to be the very best version of ourselves. We are intentional in developing ourselves and we are willing to learn from others. It means that we are not afraid to get feedback from our trusted sources and other people in our lives to help us be better moms. There is no pride in asking for help and advice from a momma that has been there. Heck, we can all use some tips every now and then.

For us, being a mom leader also means it is not about perfection, it is about getting the job done well and quickly.  We are not afraid to say, “No” – which can be really hard for moms who put a lot of pressure on themselves to do everything. Sometimes we have to allow ourselves to settle for the “this is good enough”. Do the towels really have to be washed today or can you simply put them in the dryer and fold them until tomorrow? Does the kitchen floor really have to be both swept and mopped? Don’t fall into the trap of doing everything everyday and having to have your home perfect. I had a client that naturally put that pressure on herself and she had to re-shift her mindset on this. There are a lot of time saving techniques that can be implemented that can help in being efficient at home as well without sacrificing your personal standards. You might say, yes, the kitchen has to be done, yes, I must wipe down the cupboards everyday, Yes, I have to have that bed made perfectly or I can’t function. That’s fine. Adopt the tools that can help you succeed. Perhaps being a high performer means doing online grocery shopping or having a friend help you with dinner or meal prep. I encourage you to think of ways you can save time and bring more efficiency into your home.

What are some of your favourite ways to save time? What “No’s” do you struggle with the most?

Watch the video here >>>> Be a High Performer

Watch the other Core Values here <<<

Be a Leader – Momleader Mondays

Monday, April 8th, 2019

BE A LEADER: OUR CORE VALUE

Welcome to our very first momleader monday! On the blog today, we will be discussing our very first core value of Momleader: Leadership.

Many people ask me why mom LEADER? This is really the founding block of who we are.

What does Leadership mean? Leadership is influence. We know that Great leaders don’t use their “positional” powers to bring about change; they use their “personal” power. What is their personal power? INFLUENCE. Every mom has the ability to add value in their home. As a Momleader, we use our personal power – empathy, problem solving skills, resilience, ability to prioritize, adapt, make tough calls and our personality to influence our children so that the world will be a better place. When you are a Momleader, you are a great leader in your home; when you are Great leader – you are an INFLUENCER!

Remember moms, no matter what influence you have, you are bringing it to the table everyday in your home and with your children. We need to harness that influence and make sure it is aligning with who we are and our family goals. How are you influencing and leading in your home?

Watch here >>> Be A leader Video

Watch out intro video here >>> Core Value Intro Video

10 Simple Romantic Valentine Ideas for Moms

Friday, February 15th, 2019

Valentine Ideas for Moms for the Valentine’ Weekend.

“Everyone says that you fall in love once that is not TRUE

because every time when I see you,

I fall in love with you all over again”

– Unknown

 

Valentine is here!

Love is in the air!

 

 

Valentine is always a time when the sale of roses, chocolates and cards are at their peak. I find that most Valentines, people lack Valentine ideas for moms; so moms are given gifts they don’t really like. Gifts like: Fake flowers, gym membership, sugar free candy, self help books or ill fitting lingeries or night dress.

 

Here are a list of 10 Simple Romantic Valentine ideas for Moms, especially new moms or moms with little ones.

Moms, get inspired with this list and pass it one to your Valentine!

 

1. Sleep in:

Weekends can be a chore; instead of being up and running around to get everyone ready; how about taking time off. You can also go into work later in the day to have some time to sleep-in on Valentine’s Weekend.

 

2. Make Breakfast together:

Making breakfast with your Valentine is a great way to spend Valentine. Especially if it is just you two 😉

 

3. Take Bubble Bath:

Interesting how most  moms take a bath because they think they deserve it. Having a bath doesn’t have to be a treat! It can be something you do everyday. If you still feel it is a treat, here’s a Valentine Idea for moms -“Valentine’s Weekend Bubble Bath”. Treat yourself to some nice scents, candles, fresh flowers, great music – all the works.

 

4. Watch a Romantic Movie together:

There’s nothing as romantic as watching a romantic goofy valentine movie with your Valentine. I mean uninterrupted. If you have to get someone to watch the kids, take the time off. You can either watch the movie in your living room or go out to the movies.

 

5. Dress up and go somewhere nice:

Dressing up brings up a great feeling. It is a good time to wear that “One-day-I-will-wear-you” dress. Dress up and go somewhere really nice. Visit those “one-day-I-will-visit” restaurant.

 

6. Listen to some love music together:

Put on some candles, set in the mood (sit by the fire place) and listen to some Love music together. Oldies does it for me – it brings up some really great memories.

 

7. Massage:
Either do a DIY – you can buy the oils from a local store near you, have some candles, good music and voila! Or you can treat your partner to a massage, pedicure or manicure appointment

 

8. Stay up Late:

Nothing beats staying up late…no more to be said here!

 

9. Create a List of “why you love your partner”:

You can either send a romantic text messages to your partner or you can write it out in a card. As long as those words are from your heart.

 

10. A night off from Bedtime Routine:

The chore of Bedtime routine can be exhausting. You either have the kids do a sleep-over or you get the nanny to put them to sleep or you get your partner to do it. Skipping this routine is such a great Valentine treat for  moms.

 

Dont forget to love yourself – Check this post on Self Care: 

Watch my YouTube Video on Self-care here: www.youtu.be/bhqhZdgYw3M

 

Happy Valentines to all Moms out there!

 

Chao!

 

I’ll See you around

 

Nike Famojuro

Fellow MomLeader

@iamamomleader

Seven Practical Ways You Can Show Love To Your Children

Friday, February 1st, 2019

SEVEN PRACTICAL WAYS YOU CAN SHOW LOVE TO YOUR CHILDREN

I get this most times from Moms in my MomLeader Coaching Programs.
I often ask this question: “Do you show love to your children, that is; 
You love your children but do they know that?”

Tweet this

Pretty ironic right?!?

Here are Seven (7)n Practical Ways You Can Show Love To Your Child.

PS: It is NEVER to late or too early to start.

1. TELL THEM YOU LOVE THEM:
This seems like a no-brainer right!?

Life can get busy that all we communicate to our children is what they are not doing right or their schedules, what is expected of them etc.

We forget at times to tell them what they need to hear (even though the child will not admit it! lol).

They need to hear it from you that you love them…PERIOD!…Say it!

 

2. PRAISE THEM:

This is kind of tied in with you telling your child you love them, that is, how you show love to your children.

Praising them is something you have to do consciously especially when you are going through difficult times with your child. Because of moms “nurturer” nature, we often only see EVERYTHING that needs to be fixed and we NEGLECT the things that are going on well. Find the good in your child and praise them for it

 

3. LISTEN TO YOUR CHILD;

9 out of 10, the biggest issue we had with our parents was that they didn’t listen to us…so Mommas, why aren’t  we listening to our children?

Always adopt this Steve Covey Effective Listening style which is:

“Seek first to Understand, then to be Understood”.

That is, concentrate on what is being said; rather concentrating on your response.

 

4. BE PRESENT:

Doing more than one task at once seems great because it allows us to get so many things done in a limited amount of time.

The disadvantage is that we tend not to be present while carrying a task.

When spending time with your child, be present.

All you need to do is create a time block for your child, with no interruption and with you being fully present.

This is definitely important if you want to show love to your children.

 

5. LAX THE RULES ONCE IN A WHILE:
It is awesome to have a schedule with the children especially when dealing with younger children.

But every now and then, it is okay to lax the rules.

How about if they stay up  late on a Friday night and watch a goofy movie with you or eat their breakfast in bed on Saturday morning…whatever you know they would like, lax the rules and watch their faces light up…Priceless!

 

6. SURPRISE THEM:

Everyone loves a good surprise – not just on Birthdays!

But remember, it is about them and not about you; so bear that in mind when choosing either what to give them or  what activity to do.

Do your research and NAIL it!

 

7. CREATE FAMILY TIME:

This concept is super important because it creates and nurtures closeness between family especially siblings. It is just like how companies have Team building programs with their staff members to encourage Team Dynamics.

By taking time off and being diligent with Family Time will not only create great Team Dynamics with your children, it is also a way you can show your family that you love them!

 

There you have it, 7 Practical Ways You Can Show Love to Your Child…if you want more, you can download the 37 Practical Ways You Can Show Love To Your Child here >> >

Remember, to check out 101-self-care-ideas-for-moms

Keep Loving Mommas,

 

I’ll see you around.

 

Nike Famojuro

Fellow MomLeader

 

Stay At Home Moms are CEOs

Friday, January 18th, 2019

I just had to write about this!

When you ask a Stay At Home mom,”What do you do?”

She usually doesn’t maintain eye contact and answer shyly, “I stay at home with the kids”

Or she gives a very nervous laugh and say, “The kids are my job”.

I have been a Stay at Home mom myself and I have done the same no doubt (too many times than I count).

Even now as a work from home mom, if asked, “What do I do?”  I am so quick to talk about the work I do from home – I’m a Mom-coach as opposed to claiming my place as a Stay At home mom who also runs MomLeader.

 

My question has always been, “Why do I feel like the work of a Stay At Home Mom cannot be considered as a job?”

I know that I cannot put a price on motherhood but then I cannot ignore all the work that goes into staying at home with the children. From cooking to cleaning to school runs to mitigating fights to diffusing temper tantrums – you name it!

You are so busy throughout the day yet at the end of the day it looks like you haven’t done much!

 

Truth be told, not every woman can survive being a Stay At Home Mom. Did you know that according to mother.ly and salary.com, the salary of a Stay At Home Mom for 2018 was estimated to be $162,581 per year. This was over $5000 increase from what it was in 2017!

 

Acoording to Salary.com, Jobs that reflected a day in the life of a Mom was used to achieve this estimated salary.

Example of the hybrid roles were (I picked out just a handful that jumped at me) :

  • Accountant
  • Buyer
  • Coach
  • CEO
  • Dietician
  • Event Planner
  • Interior Designer
  • Janitor
  • Judge
  • Laundry Manager
  • Logistics Analyst
  • Marketing Manage
  • Tailor
  • Tax Accountant
  • Staff Nurse
  • Psychologist
  • Day Care Centre Teacher

 

I can see why? I’m sure you can see why too!

These roles were put into consideration when  I was developing my Coaching program: MomLeader Incubator – a program for moms who want to start their dream business. I know quite well that Moms wear multiple hats.

My advice is that the next time you are asked, “What do you do?”

Don’t just say that “I’m just a Stay At Home Mom” – No you are not “JUST!”

Being a Stat At home Mom is a respectable role; an high paying role at that!!!!

You either respond with pride that: “You are a Stay At Home Mom” or better still, you can give whoever is asking the question a run down of the hybrid roles above 🙂

If you are curious, you can calculate your estimated salary as a Stay At Home Mom here. Just plug in your details to see what your salary would have been.

You might be interested in reading my recent blogposts:

Stay At Home Moms vs Working Moms

15 Honest Truths about Pregnancy

List of Inspiring Mom-Goals

 

I’ll see you around

Nike

Fellow MomLeader

15 Honest Truths about Pregnancy

Friday, January 4th, 2019

This goes out to all moms!

Here’s a list of 15 Honest Truths no one tells you about pregnancy. Some of them are my personal experiences and some are luckily not mine!

And mamas, before I go on, please don’t be shy to add to this list in the comments section below:

 

So, Here goes:

Pregnancy is HARD!!
I know moms especially some movie stars make it look so glamorous and effortless. I found out that pregnancy is a whole different ball game from day 1!

 

It is okay to admit that Pregnancy is NOT EASY for you:
Most people feel like they are ungrateful or just plain complaining if they admit that pregnancy is not easy. Oh well, let it all out!

 

Appetite Rollercoaster:

For some it is the never ending cravings; but for others it can be loss of appetite or the inevitable heartburn!

 

Peeing:

You will seek to pee in the most ridiculous places because when you have to go – you haveeeee to gooooo!

 

Belly-rubbing Crew:

Well meaning people are so thrilled to see a big belly. Please do not rub the belly even if the pregnant lady says it is ok.

 

You will look pregnant:

Whether the difference will be huge or not. You will look pregnant! If you didn’t look pregnant at the 1st or 2nd semester,   wait for it…

 

Wobble, wobble, wobble:

This is bound to happen. Buy comfortable shoes

 

Your belly after delivery will look pregnant:

This was a shock to me

 

Hemorrhoids:

They are real, whether during pregnancy or after you’ve had your bundle of joy.

 

Boogie, Boogers:

Have a tissue handy because you will be picking and plucking.

 

What’s with the skin:

From teenage acne to skin sag to stretch marks to black line on your belly. Be ready to say hello to skin changes.

 

Hello! “Farting-machine”:

 You get the picture!

 

Say goodbye to Sleep:

It is either you are looking for a comfortable sleep position all night or sleep won’t just come to you. Oh by the way, it gets worse when the little one arrives…(Just giving you heads-up!)

 

Compromised vision:

You will wonder what is wrong with your vision, don’t worry it is the pregnancy!

 

Getting back into your pre-pregnancy shape is hard work:

The truth is that asides from the discipline of losing weight, you now have a newborn which means you are too tired and uninspired to exercise.

 

These are my Top 15 Honest Truths about Pregnancy.

Despite all these, being mom is such a great privilege and the most unimaginable precious thing EVER!

 

Don’t forget to add your Honest Truths about Pregnancy in the Comments below or connect with me on instagram @iamamomleader.

I would love to hear all your Pregnancy Truths.

 

Ciao,

 

Nike Famojuro

Fellow MomLeader